Posted by: rivettingkatetaylor | June 2, 2010

Stolen stock

An illegal slaughterhouse was discovered in Hastings this week after a more gross find – 14 sheep crammed in the back of a car.

Do you remember being told about the parental threat to sit you down and make you smoke a whole packet of cigarettes in one go and make you so sick you’d never want to smoke again?  Maybe we should do the same with those 14 sheep. Not a nice roast lamb though. The guts, the tripe, the offal (once I’ve had a fry-up – complete with bacon and mushrooms… yum) where was I? That’s right, feed them the lot. Uncooked. In one go. Natural justice. Make them sick. Make them so sick they never want to eat red meat ever again. i.e. never steal red meat again.

Farmers shouldn’t have to put up security cameras to guard lambs. But I guess we’ve been looking after our machinery and bikes too well, it’s time for them to start on the livestock, which stand unprotected behind a flimsy four wire fence. Maybe we need to up to the voltage on the hotwires (unless they’ve already stolen the battery units). Maybe we could come up with a drench that gives people a major dose of the runs if the animals are eaten within the holding period.

There’s a good reason for farming at some of our country’s more isolated communities – it’s too far for the baddies to travel to get a free feed.

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